Becoming an Eastern Orthodox Christian☦️

"As God illumines all people equally with the light of the sun, so do those who desire to imitate God let shine an equal ray of love on all people. For wherever love disappears, hatred immediately appears in its place. And if God is love, then hatred is the devil. Therefore, as one who has love has God within himself, so he who has hatred within himself nurtures the devil within himself." -Saint Basil

I woke up today feeling both excited and nervous. My potential rebirth into becoming an Eastern Orthodox Christian brings me joy. I'm anxious because this is my first baptism. How would it feel? Will I experience a spiritual awakening? Does that imply that the baptism was successful?

Valley of Fire (2022)

After my husband and I arrived early at our parish, I prayed for calm and anxiety relief before the icons. I kept praying while the men filled the tub with water. I started to feel calmer during prayer. I began by recalling the promises made to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in my 'Life Confession'.

When I was struggling for my life in the intensive care unit in 2022, I promised him things. I cried his name for the first time. I had problems with self-isolation, gluttony, and slothfulness. I let food act as my anxiety medication. I ate whatever was making me feel good at the time. I had no idea that my inability to forgive the past and my expectation of apologies, which have yet to materialize, could be the end of my physical life.

Before becoming a Follower of the Way, who only recognized the Old Testament, I was a Spiritual Naturalist. When I didn't realize the consequences of my sins, I cried out to Jesus. Can he hear me? Will I receive his forgiveness? And would I ever be able to return home? My departure from the Protestant church occurred after middle school.

I had no idea that I would have to crawl home. Not to my makeshift residence. But to the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church, my permanent home. This time, however, I returned broken and handicapped. I frequently questioned why I had not sought Jesus sooner, but rather waited until I had let my demons rule me during my road back to him.

ICU 2022 (August 31st-September 2nd)

In 2022, I was both thrilled and afraid when I left the intensive care unit (after two nights and three days). Eventually, I found out that many of my issues stemmed from celiac disease. I once received a diagnosis of gluten intolerance after being informed that people of color could not have celiac disease. Regretfully, I endured years of suffering. For many years, I struggled with balance issues, ringing in my ears, stomach swelling, intestinal problems, several nutrient deficiencies, and a diagnosis of lactose intolerance since childhood.

With the help of a holistic physician, I discovered that almost all of my supplements contained wheat or gluten. My stomach would bloat after eating certain things, so at one point, I took more supplements than food. As long as I took a few supplements, I believed that eating one fast-food meal a day was acceptable. My stay in the intensive care unit was the result of a series of problems.

As time progressed, I was unsure of how I would fulfill my commitments. My husband made every effort to mentor me constructively; for example, challenging me to reread the Bible. It took me some time to reopen the Bible again. However, after I began in 2023, I was unable to stop. I was unaware of how deeply I had buried my sin-justification in my head. Yes, I was completely off course.

Homemade organic gluten-free couscous with peas and salmon.

In June 2023, I completed rereading the Bible and made dietary changes. I also started to fast weekly. Additionally, fast food became a habit of the past as I started preparing my meals at home. To reset my body, I abstained from meat for about three months before switching to a pescatarian diet (temporarily). I walked daily and concentrated on eating more biblical cuisine. I consumed pomegranates, figs, berries, olive oil, etc. I made an effort to live a more Christ-like existence.

After that, in April 2024, my husband and I started looking for churches. He discovered the Orthodox faith, and I proudly followed. We visited a Protestant church initially, then a Greek Orthodox church, then a Coptic Orthodox church, and in August, we eventually settled at a Russian Orthodox church. Inquirer's class began that same month. We didn't miss a day. Despite our small ups and downs, we were unable to quit coming. Nothing could separate us. We attended every liturgy, vespers, and matins. We felt more at peace and learned about repentance during every Liturgy. We started to relish the mental quiet. As the liturgy continued, we became more attentive and less of the world.

Hiking In Washington (2024)

"The mind ascends to god not through the accumulation of knowledge, but through the letting go of all that it knows." - St. Gregory of Nyssa

I discovered how to rely on Christ by letting go. Last year, in one of my favorite homilies, my Spiritual Father mentioned being able to heal once we welcome Christ into our lives. We can't accomplish everything by ourselves. As a housewife, I reasoned that if I can trust my husband, I can trust Jesus first.

As I sit here, my concerns slowly fade as I wait to be baptized. Today, I can feel Jesus right by my side. In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, my husband and I were submerged completely in water three times. My demons grew more irate with every immersion. Christ's presence made it impossible for it to use my anxieties and concerns against me. We were Chrismated afterwards. I felt calm, light, and free.

Baptized & Chrismated on Lazarus Saturday (April 12, 2025)

Jesus didn't have to answer my prayers in the intensive care unit, but he did. He had the option to disregard my suffering and tears. It is because of Jesus that I confess my sins. And I continue to repent —not only at confession—because Christ has welcomed me back home. I am newly illumined.

Orthodox Cathedral

"I believe, O Lord, and I confess that Thou art truly the Christ the Son of the Living God Who camest into the world to save sinners, of whom I am first. I believe also that this is truly Thine own Most Pure Body, and that this is truly Thine own Precious Blood." - St. John Chrysostom

Niketas and Olga